Author: Hammy

Infertility & Marriage: I’m a Lucky Girl

I have a theory about what happens to couples who go through years of infertility. It’s not grounded in any scientific evidence. It’s all experiential, based solely on what has happened in my marriage, and what I’ve seen with other fertility-challenged couples whom we know. Two things can happen to a couple — you grow closer, or you grow apart.… Read more →

On gratitude

Does anyone have tips for dealing with women/friends/sisters/strangers with babies who talk about how hard they have it? One of my favorite bloggers who shall remain “nameless” (Cupcakes and Cashmere) gave birth 3 months ago, and her recent entry on how terrifying it was “to realise her baby needs 1 bottle of formula before bed” — which has torn her up to bits… Read more →

#ThisIsInfertility

Soon, Martin and I will move. We are downsizing to a smaller, cheaper apartment in a northern borough of Copenhagen called Nørrebro. AKA, NørreBronx. Our week of packing happens to coincide with National Infertility Awareness Week in the United States. The movement — complete with hashtags and extensive social media efforts — has given me time to reflect on the… Read more →

A Delicate Post: Dolce & Gabbana & IVF

My favorite underwear to wear when I visit the doctor for IVF treatments are from Dolce & Gabbana. After going through 11 assisted reproductive treatments (ART), composed of endless shots, ultrasound scans, oocyte retrievals, transfers, 2-week waits, blood tests, and more, you find that even trifle gestures, like picking out undies the morning of an appointment, carry some meaning. I… Read more →

It was one year ago…

One year ago today, I was logging onto Shopbop.com to cancel the order I’d placed days earlier for a gorgeous caftan maternity dress. The day before, the hospital that got me pregnant through a desperate round of IVF was diagnosing my miscarriage. There was no heartbeat, no gestational sack, no nothing. Just two crying adults, holding hands. Feeling so empty… Read more →

Short on oxygen

Today I wandered the streets of beautiful Copenhagen and encountered so many baby strollers. They seemed to be everywhere, taunting me. One tall blonde Viking wearing his kiddo in a Baby Bjørn, a la Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover, was blocking the stoop to our flat as I feverishly tried to flee the scene around Nørreport. I’ve entered a new… Read more →