Category: Uncategorized

On Friday, December 11th, we went to our fertility clinic for our first ultrascan. I was 7 weeks, 2 days and the little peanut was in there, in all its glory, with a good strong heartbeat. The baby measured one day ahead in terms of size. This scan was a major milestone and seeing the little blueberry on the screen… Read more →

In early November I went through a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). This was round 8 of IVF, round 14 of ART. They transferred two blastocysts that we harvested in September — both with delayed growth and average scores. I was given a different post-transfer regime, topping up with two injections of Pregnyl (hCG), first eight hours after transfer, and another… Read more →

Please, ask me about my fertility. If you are curious as to why I don’t have children yet, I am happy to share with you why. I am presuming you want to know and will handle maturely the conversation that follows, when I share with you some of my bad news. That I was diagnosed with infertility. That a heaping… Read more →

Infertility has never been portrayed more honestly on the silver-screen than in the movie UP.  It was a small snippet in a full and delicious movie about true love, grief and rediscovering one’s appetite for adventure. The opening montage featuring the love story of Carl and Ellie is one of the most gorgeous pieces of storytelling I’ve ever seen. Theirs… Read more →

Reality…by Lost Frequencies. Read more →

I dance on the edge of happy and sad. I wear a party hat while I cry. I blow out candles that are not there. I feel hollow and full of nothing. It’s my birthday today, so that means it is the happiest saddest day of the year. I’m willing everything inside myself not to feel blue. But I do.… Read more →

On Saturday, I attended the 2015 Nor Cal Walk of Hope in my hometown city of Sacramento. It was an emotionally-layered experience, one that made my soul cry and smile. As my mom and I drove to the Walk, I’ll admit that I got a little weepy. I hadn’t had a good cry in about a month, so I was… Read more →

Medical experts, psychologists and researchers seem to agree that infertility is a life crisis. It changes everything about a woman, disrupting her worldview, her usual positivity, her feelings toward her body, and on and on. It can often consume every waking minute of a person’s – even for women who previously were not the obsessive type. Women with passionate hobbies, rising careers,… Read more →

IVF is a really hard ordeal for men. It’s really painful because it requires them to have that awkward orgasm involving a plastic cup. It’s really hard on them having to deal with that crusty, tattered edition of Playboy July ’98. The one with Jenny McCarthy on the cover. And the men, bless their hearts, know what she’s turned into.… Read more →

Why infertility hurts so bad. Reason #106. When you start trying to get pregnant, you summon so much love for the baby that will come. Let’s call it pre-love. It swells inside you, growing bigger by the day. Every month, you follow the signs to see if you’re any closer to being united with that one you already love. But… Read more →