Love, Marriage and No Baby Carriage

Infertility never been portrayed more honestly on the silver-screen than in the movie UP.  It was a small snippet in a full and delicious movie about true love, grief and rediscovering one’s appetite for adventure. The opening montage featuring the love story of Carl and Ellie is one of the most gorgeous pieces of storytelling I’ve ever seen. Theirs was… Read more →

Happy birthday?

I dance on the edge of happy and sad. I wear a party hat while I cry. I blow out candles that are not there. I feel hollow and full of nothing. It’s my birthday today, so that means it is the happiest saddest day of the year. I’m willing everything inside myself not to feel blue. But I do.… Read more →

A Guide for Friends & Family of a Woman with Infertility

Medical experts, psychologists and researchers seem to agree that infertility is a life crisis. It changes everything about a woman, disrupting her worldview, her usual positivity, her feelings toward her body, and on and on. It can often consume every waking minute of a person’s – even for women who previously were not the obsessive type. Women with passionate hobbies, rising careers,… Read more →

Cups

IVF is a really hard ordeal for men. It’s really painful because it requires them to have that awkward orgasm involving a plastic cup. It’s really hard on them having to deal with that crusty, tattered edition of Playboy July ’98. The one with Jenny McCarthy on the cover. And the men, bless their hearts, know what she’s turned into.… Read more →

Testing Day

Why infertility hurts so bad. Reason #106. When you start trying to get pregnant, you summon so much love for the baby that will come. Let’s call it pre-love. It swells inside you, growing bigger by the day. Every month, you follow the signs to see if you’re any closer to being united with that one you already love. But… Read more →

Pregnancy, interrupted.

The day that I lost my pregnancy in 2014 I was rushed into emergency surgery. My beta-hCG hormone levels were rising rapidly, but at the 8 week heartbeat ultra-scan, my uterus was empty. The infertility specialist treating me at Copenhagen General Hospital (not it’s real name, it’s actually Rigshospitalet) scrambled to set an urgent appointment, three floors down, with the chief… Read more →

Infertility & Marriage: I’m a Lucky Girl

I have a theory about what happens to couples who go through years of infertility. It’s not grounded in any scientific evidence. It’s all experiential, based solely on what has happened in my marriage, and what I’ve seen with other fertility-challenged couples whom we know. Two things can happen to a couple — you grow closer, or you grow apart.… Read more →

On gratitude

Does anyone have tips for dealing with women/friends/sisters/strangers with babies who talk about how hard they have it? One of my favorite bloggers who shall remain “nameless” (Cupcakes and Cashmere) gave birth 3 months ago, and her recent entry on how terrifying it was “to realise her baby needs 1 bottle of formula before bed” — which has torn her up to bits… Read more →